The title of this photo is called "Efforts" and a copy of it is hanging in the guest bathroom of one of my best family friends' home in Vancouver. I always thought it was great, and I spent many a time in that house, especially in the weeks after my father passed away and I was depressed. I needed to get away from home at times in order to be able to concentrate and study, and it was my second home. Whenever I go back to Vancouver, I go back and I feel "at home" again.
These days, I must admit, the workouts require serious effort. I am not sure what is going on, but the motivation level is now low. I drag myself to the gym to do the exercises, whether it's jumprope or the workouts, and I don't feel energized from doing them. I find myself looking forward to the end. I run out of energy much earlier in my workouts (for example, the shoulder presses after chicken wings, I can barely get 12 out, let along 20 in the latter sets). Day 91 can't come soon enough. I think I am just tired. March felt like it would never end, and the fatigue is still there in my body. On the other hand, I do want to continue a healthy, active lifestyle after this is done. So it is a paradox, I suppose, but I do feel tired.
I also feel a bit of frustration. My legs look skinnier than before to me, especially my calves. I always had skinny legs, but I look in the mirror when I am jumping rope and I feel like a chicken. My pecs still aren't really coming in though I've always wanted them to. And though I can see a bit more definition at the top of my abs, the lower part is still hidden behind an inch-thick layer of fat that I can pinch. Darn, was hoping to be able to get through there, but with only a few days left, it looks like it's not going to happen. I have to stop myself from going down the path Patrick warns about in terms of seeing yourself differently from how you are, like the body-builders with "big-itis."
At work, the comments have gone from complimentary to a bit derogatory. "Eat a cheeseburger, dude." "Stop dieting or you are going to disappear." "You look like a cancer patient." "Dude, are you ok? You are dropping too much weight."
Had my indulgence with Brian and some friends on Friday night at our fave Indian spot here in Tokyo. Had a very nice meal. Some things were too salty, but overall the food was delicious though everything was a bit salty. Was glad to discover a beer still tastes like a beer. Had just one and went home and slept.
Some other PCP dishes from the past week:
Argentine veggie stew: pumpkin, tomatoes, bell peppers, chili to spice it up, corn, peas. Stewed it for a good couple of hours, stirring the whole time. Absolutely delicious and pure PCP-friendly. I recommend it. The pumpkin adds a great texture. Add a bit of water from time-to-time to keep things from burning.
Had it with some lean, roast lamb fillet. Gravy for everyone else, none for me.
I don't know what to call this one, but my girlfriend made it and it was good. Diced cucumber, tomato, bell peppers, etc., with fresh lemon juice and homemade salt and pine-nut-free pesto.
Hey mate - having the exact same comments thrown at me: by my boss who exclaimed "I want you to get off this diet - you are way too skinny" to people in the office saying derogatory things like - 'quit with this diet' etc. I think they have forgotten what healthy people look like. Also - maybe do a midweek session down in Yokohama and throw your questions to Patrick. The workouts are gradually becoming more difficult and I think our bodies are saying 'enough' which is why we feel tired. Less than two weeks - do your best mate. You've changed heaps: compare your first photo with your move recent; massive changes there.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up - remember your inspirational photo mate.
I agree with Ricahrd --- I think people are uncomfortable when they see someone "healthy" -- either they've forgotten what healthy looks like (like Richard said) or inside they are jealous and that's the way it comes out. I think you've done great ESPECIALLY with all that happened outside of PCP for you in March. I do agree we're all getting very tired now and it will feel good to take a break. Hang in there --- 11 more workouts! Glad you blogged it out -- you feel better afterwards and everyone's support really really helps when you feel like this. We've all been here and might be here again in the next 11 days.
ReplyDeleteHeh heh check out the latest photo to see your worries were for nought!
ReplyDeletei really hear ya on the low motivation - i had that for good 2-3 weeks and i had to get myself out of hk and now, feel like i can face the workouts again - just 10 more days dude, we're all soooo close - and from what patick posted above, perhaps newest pics show some of that muscle definition u were hoping for? u look lean, not skinny, u've got well balanced muscles distributed all around the body, to me u look like a superhero - plus i bet u look good in a suit - u cant look dapper with bulging muscles anywhere, u need to be trim and lean like you!
ReplyDelete